Cobra Commander Vs The Monarch: Aftermath
by snake screamer
Summary: A one-shot sequel to Red Witch story of the same name.
1. Chapter 1

WHAT DO YOU MEAN I CAN'T GET REVENGE ON COBRA!" Monarch snapped

"I mean, You can't get revenge on Cobra. What part of this aren't you getting." David Bowie (meeting Monarch face to face instead of his sovereign disguise) stated

"But-but-but- WHY!?" Monarch snapped

"Cause, 1) I want these particular idiots alive, I find it odd that people who live in the eighties haven't age in the least and I'm curious as to why." David Bowie said

* * *

"ACHOO!" Mindbender sneeze as he checked his bloodcell thank to that mission that retarded their aging process

* * *

"Big whoop, so they have fancy ass plastic surgeon." Monarch said "Not everyone like frigging Mommy Longlegs."

"Two, No sane Guild member would join in your little revenge." David stated

"Why?"

"1) Most of them met you, they all know about your obsession when it comes to enemy and know that if they join forces with you for this, you might very well kill them so you in turn can Cobra so you can be the sole arch-enemy of Doctor Venture." David stated

Monarch open his mouth, but shut his mouth and nodded as he realized that pretty much true.

"2) You look like the sort who hate working in a team-up," David stated

"That not true, I only hate certain parts of it, like heist, good gawd do I hate the heist crew motif." Monarch stated

"And lastly... and I can't believe I am saying this, they are currently under Killinger protection."

"KILLINGER!?" Monarch gaped "Why would he protect them?"

(eighties)

"So it's agreed, the man who is now known as Cobra Commander, shall receive help from the group known as Cobra-la," Killinger stated

"Excellent, later suckers!" Cobra Commander cackled as he left.

"Are you sure that buffoon is worth it?" Pythona asked annoyed

"Trust me, they will provide a longer end game, then what my brothers offer you with Sphinx."

"Perhaps... though I must ask? Why the devil do they insist on such idiotic masks?" Pythona asked

"It's the fashion of the time." Killinger shrugged.

(Present)

"No idea, but if you think ANY sane villain will risk the wrath of Killinger, your sadly mistaken." David Bowie said

"BUT I NEED THIS! THEY PISSED ME OFF!" Monarch yelled but then thought of something. "Wait, why don't I-"

"Before you finish that terrible thought, need I remind you the Investor, while honoring the deal, usually have yourself dead or a fate worse than death," David stated

"AGGHH! I'll be back, and I will find a loophole that will allow me to attack COBRA!" Monarch snapped as he marched out of the office.

"Good luck with that, nitwit." David Bowie muttered

(Meanwhile)

"And that's how It started." Cobra Commander told his underlings (And unfortunately the dreadnok) as they were having lunch together (Surprisingly without killing one another.)

"Wait, I'm confused. Commander, you're from Cobra La! They sent you out here to conquer the world! Why the hell would you use the services of Killinger to barter a deal with people you already had a deal with?" Destro question

"Two reasons. the first was so I could be protected from the Guild of Stuck Up Jerks and Cobra could attack without impunity and bending to their stupid rules. And, before you ask, I'm almost positive it was a different guild, cause I heard their leader was someone called Force Majeure (1)."

"Alright, but what's the second reason?" Destro ask

"To negotiate the end of my alimony with my ex-wife! Worth every freaking penny!" Cobra Commander said with a cackle

"Hang on, why would Pythona agree to the ruse if it meant that she doesn't get any alimony anymore? She was your ex-wife, wasn't she?" Baroness asked suspiciously

This made Cobra Commander stopped laughing as he thought about. "Well... I guess because Golobulus ordered her to so it would make the ruse more believable. What else could it be?"

FLASHBACK!

"HA! Thanks to that idiot of an ex-husband of mine I get practically everything! And I don't have to follow that stupid morality clause I was forced to sign in my pre-nup! Saying that I can't date again!" Pythonia cackled

Killinger: (In her bedroom) "Yes I think these negotiations went well for everyone combined my dear."

FLASHBACK END

"Can't we call that Killinger guy?" Mindbender "I kinda want to have a budget again!"

"Yeah! We dreadnok wouldn't mind having a evil Mary Poppins turning us into killing machines!" Zartan grinned

"Are you all morons. He's not a frigging genie whom lamp you rub and get a wish!" Cobra Commander snapped "He and his magic murder mystery bag could be anywhere and nowhere! Besides, you should be thanking me for what we DO have or rather what we DON'T HAVE!"

"Which is...?" Baroness asked

"A chip loaded with cyanide that would go off if he ever betrayed the organization with it only being a matter of time when the chip wore out and spelled your doom,"

"Ugh! Must you reference SPHINX for everything about lazy villainy." Baroness groaned

"ONLY CAUSE THEIR STUPID COPYCAT AND I AM GLAD THEIR GONE!" Cobra Commander snapped

"Didn't they roughly start the same time you guys did." Zarana muttered

"I SWEAR TO GOLOBULUS, I WILL BREAK YOUR LIMB IF YOU IDIOT KEEP TRYING TO DEFEND SPHINX! SPHINX IS DEAD AND BURY AND I COULDN'T BE HAPPIER!" Cobra Commander roared angrily

(Meanwhile)

"I still don't see why I couldn't load some rounds into the Cobra goons head." Shore Leave pouted

"As I told you, Idiot, before, What the point of a secret hideout if everyone knows about it!" Hunter Gathers snapped. "Let the villain kill their own numbers, over that bald idiot!"

"Too bad though, I heard that Cobra Commander throw a huge hissy-fit due to SPHINX getting more press coverage than them." Brock added "That would be pretty funny to see, dude voice is exactly like Starscream."

"Oh that would have been hilarious, interesting fact, I was told I did a great Frank Welker impression." Shore Leave grinned.

"You ever wonder if other leaders have to listen to the idiocy of their subordinates. I'm seriously asking cause you idiots are making me miss my days as a stripper!" Hunter snapped.

Author note: I would like to thank Red Witch for most of the cobra scenes and also, for those who don't know, Force Majeure was the past sovereign before the (FAKE David Bowie).


	2. Chapter 2

"Any luck?" Dr Mrs the Monarch asked

"No, the sovereign said we can't attack COBRA." Monarch growled

"Probably for the best, I mean you are focus on the ventures." 21 stated

"I can arch other people, I mean I arch Sunshine right." Monarch stated "And before anyone says it, I meant while arching Venture. So don't bring up that stupid manatee!"

"I wasn't going to-"

"GOOD! Cause that is the lamest superhero ever, and their is no way in god green earth will that schmuck affect me life in anyway whatsoever!" Monarch stated

"I can't help but think you jinx yourself mighty Monarch." 21 stated

"You think I jinxed myself?"

"Yeah..." 21 admitted

"Yeah well jinx this! ALL MEMBERS OF COBRA ARE FUCKING HACKS AND THEIRS NO WAY THEY OR THEIR FAMILY CAN KICK MY ASS!" At this shout the cocoon was rocked violently "AGGH! What the hell was that."

"Missiles!" Dr. Mrs the Monarch shouted

"WHAT!? By whom?"

"Attention flying golden turd man." A voice spoke causing everyone turn to see a masculant old man three scar on his face. I am Aleksandr Cisarovna of the Cisarovna family and you have pissed me off."

"WHO THE HELL ARE THE CISAROVNA AND WHY THE FUCK ARE THEY ATTACKING US!" Monarch snapped as the coccoon are being bombarded by robotic jets

"Their sponsors to various villain group including the guild," 21 added "Wealthy aristocrat types."

"If their sponsors, then why the hell are they attacking us!" Monarch snapped

"Why you stupid pathetic little worm." The old man said with a sneered "You attack my niece, dismiss her royal heritage, and call her drag queen."

"... By any chance, your niece, she wouldn't call herself the baroness... would she?" Dr. Mrs The monarch asked

The old man grinned gave them the answer "Please hold for a second." At this the screen went dark "FUCK!" Mrs the monarch growled.

"Oh we are so SCREWED! Sponsor are treated like royalty due to the guild!" 21 gulped.

"Wait, I have an idea." Monarch stated as he reactivated the screen "Dear Mr Cisarovna, we weren't attacking your niece, we were uh... having an intervention."

"We were?" 21 questioned

"Shut up!" Monarch hissed at 21 and then turn back to the screen "See, we heard she was still hanging with those idiots at COBRA and thought she needed a wake up call."

"That is true, flying golden turd man." Aleksandr Cisarovna admitted "My niece has making of conqueror but surrounds herself with morons and mask wearing ex."

"The one with the realistic face, or the mirror guy?" Monarch asked "You know what, doesn't matter. point is, it was an intervention, nothing more nothing less, I mean they were arching venture."

"The short man with the robotic arm, or the bald one who's a complete wash up." Aleksandr asked

"The latter,"

"I hate that wash up for actually putting lady hitler in power, I mean, who the fuck puts someone with that name in power." Aleksandr growled

"I think that was more of a by-product thing-" Dr. Mrs The Monarch but Monarch put a hand in her mouth "Agreed that guy a pill. Did you know he hired sgt Hatred."

"Sgt Hatred!? UGH! disgusting" Cisarovna groaned, fully aware what that dude did.

"I know right, your niece shouldn't be arching that guy. that why we stage that intervention."

"If that the case... why is she still with COBRA?"

"Ehh..." Monarch said as he realized that he got no answer

"OH!" 21 stated "Cause she still has feeling for that mask loser you hate!

"Y-YES! That it," Monarch stated

"Damn, I honestly hope she moved on from that loser when he lost his castle to a dreadnok of all things." Aleksandr groaned

"Oh yeah real shame." Monarch nodded, he had no idea what the hell a Dreadnok was but if it could prevent him, his wife and 21 life be spared so be it.

"Well, their is one way to make her fall out of love, I know for a fact ALOT of his relative despise him for losing the castle! Dos Vidanya flying golden turd man" At this Cisarovna cackled as the monitor went dark.

"He's leaving thank god." 21 sighed but noticed Monarch growling "what wrong?"

"Why the hell did he keep calling me that! What part of me does the name flying golden turd man make any sense!" Monarch snapped

"Well" Dr. Mrs the Monarch began to explain delicately "You are wearing golden chestplate and, while I know it's a cocoon, and the henchman know it's a cocoon... it shape does evoke the image of a-"

"Don't say it-" Monarch groaned "Well could be worst?"

"How so?" 21 asked

"I could be back living in New Jersey." Monarch admitted.

 **author note: _abit_ shorter than i hope for, but I think it worked as a epilogue of sorts.**


End file.
